WORK from April to June 2012 ... the "OCCUPY YOUR MEMORY" SHORT STORIES and POEMS
jumpstarted at the DEER PARK INSTITUTE - BIR HP INDIA April2012

"Poems from Restless Hearts" is poetry and fiction
written by Peter Gillies and associated creative folks since 1997 including ...


Extensive co-authoring by and RAW material from Margaret Barker
Memory occupation from Janet Thomas, poetic justice from Naya Kee and rhythmic therapy from Christine Zeindler
Inspirational contributions from Nancy Barker, Phil Barker, Isabella Mori, Jody Nassr, Gisèle Gilfillan, Wahl and ?

The general
Winter '98

Inspiration: ?Why do we have a subculture of dominance. To give us a place to give up responsibility. Mute the issue of success or failure. Be a tool in someone else's workshop. The general first appeared in September ’98 because someone was needed to sport the epaulettes

What the general (tG) sees

The need for training- a good little wizard on shoulders checking out how we might improve our lives by doing things better.

What the general wears


Epaulettes are quite significant. Maybe it is the rank, or some pre-sumptuous fashion statement. Wakefield consultant Margaret Barker has some theories about the General's (G’s) attire.

Submitting to the G

There is always an important element of giving something up during the G's training. This usually implies giving up in the service of someone else. The general appreciates good service (Gs). But don't flaunt your kneepads - the g also emphasizes humility, and being in the background.

Having your day


Sometimes it is appropriate to serve very publicly. Or at least give the appearance of doing so. The G has one specialty in which a woman entrepreneur learns how to stroke a client's ego - a worthy service in itself - and then convinces the client to sign a contract that allows her a few days off.

Practice in real life

The G, with great respect for various religions, encourages the development of a practice of service. A morning mantra, looking for opportunities throughout the day, and some evening reflection. These can all help.

Staying up

Visit the general from time to time. Look for some innovative opportunity to serve. Seek ideas for the right invocation - the g can train you to ask most invitingly.

Understanding why


Sometimes it’s a mystery - humans seem to function best at the level of 2 mysteries per day. Don't ask why - unless the General encourages you to speculate. You will probably enjoy being told what to say for a change.

Staying


The G's training can be painful. You will feel boundaries threatened on occasion. Sometimes the G may seem to be too insistent on the same path. Understand that with daily practice you will be able to swallow more.

Metaphor


The G makes extensive use of fantasy and encourages the exploration of metaphor. Universally, trainees agree that oral sex is a very helpful focus. Most people have a vast amount of unexplored oral territory - check out the chackras.

What does the stereotype mean

The G often challenges us to examine our picture. In oral service I am encouraged to be sitting on my knees with my mouth ready. ?Any thoughts on that one. Later on I might be on top, working hard, opening up. ?What does that remind you of.

Attention

Focus on your objective of service, and how your mouth can please. Hear your instructions. Perform diligently. Suck here now.

Handling it


Sometime in the course of service we get carried away - the danger of the sexual metaphor is the arousal of the server. Sometimes our worship is fueling our own needs - we forget who we are serving. Sometimes we want to use our hands. The G encourages us to think rebelliously, and on occasion to rebel.

Discipline

The choice to include one or more modules on discipline can only be made during or after a private consultation with the G. Discipline - and here we mean punishment as a training tool - is beneficial to most people in at least small doses. The trainee needs to trust the G explicitly. The G will almost certainly penetrate some limits during each session. "Mock discipline", such as recreational bondage, is more widely used.

It is right to serve


The G encourages us to be mindful of the eight precepts of the Buddha. The precept of right livelihood is an important one these days. Right service can also transform. ?Are we prepared to be humble.

Copyright Notice © 1998 Peter Gillies

i like a shine -
fall '98


Inspiration: the phone company offers $20 all you can eat after hours - ?what's a writer to do for discipline...


synonomous buttocks

tonight at the reception she offered a sign
edged with dreams of honey and ginger - something divine.
and maybe an ass for which, apparently,
there is no worthwhile synonym except buttocks - you'll see.
Certainly nothing to compare with "tumescent".

instead

I wanted to call and hear your voice
to ring that phone in louis' room
to fetch that tea freshly brewed
and cuddle in the corner.

but I decided to eat instead
to clean out the fridge of things long dead
to mop the floor - i like a shine -
and imagine you reflected.

the other day

list too long
day too short
not enough time
to do it all.

list will grow
day will shrink
clock will tick
and then you'll call.

just checking

marvel at the cleverness of the trees dropping their petticoats,
reflect on the travels of geese,
observe the cheeks of squirrels stuffed with nuts,
or just be. silent.

early bird plays hopscotch with fear

There came a
"word in your ear"
while you were here
chirping your tune
in synch with the loon
in time with the moon
but a moment too soon.

Or just in time? computers they rhyme and they whine.
do they find? wish they'd wine. and dine.
or wind.
down.

A bird in the ear
in the morning as dear?
makes the day clear
plays hopscotch with fear.

oh for a voice

Day is done,
the train doth run,
the birthday planned,
mamma's paper canned
I trust that's alright
At least for tonight...

samosa currency

stuffed sitting here
yet head so clear
alexa's nose is in a book
i wait for a word
in my ear.

happy as this day is long.

now i'm gonna run around the lake
and try not to see a snake
though if a do i'll hit the brake
but won't be broken
just soft spoken.

franklin's turtle

dance,
do sit-ups,
and clean the kitchen
before "no sweatshirt" sweets

some are kids
and some are mothers
behind the house
hover others

long on the hills

trust so deep
to fall asleep
above a rising tide
known to creep

at the edge

Chill night is clearing. Mists which hid the landscape a scant hour ago gather for final farewells in a cluster over the river. Now dispersing, disappearing in the new morning warmth of the sun, they are ghosts and spirits taking leave for the day, relieving our imaginations for a time, unburdening our spirits. Trees bask in the new heat -- the lively maple near the road is edged in blood-red petticoat, revealing passions unsuccessfully hidden by the calm green dress.

today's air is laden with moisture, a turgid Indian summer day, heavy with the scent of apples and loud with the frantic buzzing of bees and wasps seizing opportunities. Zucchinis swell and the acorn squash glows. A golden brochade edging creeps up the skirts of the riverbank, mists drift lazily in a maze of green and orange petticoat.

a great honking, jostling flock unseen in the black cloud above, no red or blue flashing beacons to warn of their passing, no radar screens to tell them which way they ought to go, but their noisy passage cut a direct line south, no drifters here, no one dawdles or veers off the path, everyone follows the leader and that's OK.

Two woodpeckers busy at work this morning, doing a topological survey of the crabapple, but the beetles and bugs on that fruit-bare tree were not to their taste. I wonder if I could interest them in a kitchen floor? Plenty there for them. After tasting winter in the area, Oliver found the butter last night, perhaps adding a millimeter of insulation, and then retired to his new bed in the corner, the best in the house if it weren't for the clouds of dirt that rise each time he lies down

A hint of crisp apple, high air, infused greens poised for the march through fall colours, all touched by a fleeting, golden morning sun. A reminder of what lies ahead, before the heavy august cloud and mists move in, obscuring these metamorphoses, shrouding the future.

shortsweet

you and i -
we do both
short and sweet, and
long and slow.

?gotta run.
just say hello.

?stay a while.
hold that smile.

peel if you are drinking cider


peel in any case
you look good that way
or dressed to meet the world
or just for quiet play

what to do with a tune

how small to let me carry it
recipe cards might do.
people would wonder ?what's cooking
and ?whose invited which few

how big to let me sing it
more likely us more likely wing it
while people wonder
?would they

Copyright Notice © 1998 peter gillies and margaret barker

Surround a first kiss -
Summer '98

Inspiration: I experienced the smile, the laugh, the engagement of the world by Wakefield poet Margaret Barker first dancing on a page then on a rideau river swan viewing bridge ... and life carried on around us ...

when the demonstrators finally got there

out straycatguardeddoor feet quickly wet of morning dew heart so full of sun horizon peeking climb to the drive still sleeping beneath yesterday's trash and sweat soon to steam again bakery buns window cooling here comes a bus down the hill wanting to runscreamlaunch but porch smokers eyes say slow turn the corner home coffee one button to the big outside where indonesian friends run supplies to parliament demonstrators my heart surges big tears pining peace.

for us all

eleven seventy seven - it's a good life

I went into the post office today
tried to close your mail box down
I had to turn in some keys.
To the lady with the frown.

That woman looked in the computer
and found your box
and gave me $11.77
?Go frigger

Well I took the money
I didn't say a word.
It's a wonderful life.
Or so I've heard

workshoping

scissors on the list though cut might slip
index cards opposed to the inscript
flip charts a rainbow pens of commercial fate
voice in mind to even out the plate

thick babmboo blues

maybe youre short
maybe you're tall
it doesn't matter
if you're holding the ball

maybe your're wide
or can hardly be seen
it doesn't matter
as long as you dream

don't be too thick
try to be lite
make sure you're in bed
by nine some nites

gotta like sunshine
gotta like rain
some times you gotta like
drivin'' that train

Au Pieds

Au pieds, quelques temps
En le silence precieux et le solititude. On regard.

Chitinous creatures of mighty power, six-footed Romans
Expertly manoeuvering a booty three times their size.
Beaded outlines of a trap so sturdy, so gluey, so final
For those hairy kazoo players
No one else wants.
Copper armoured reconnaisance vehicles with a million eyes the better to see you with,
Their delicate scanners assessing hazards on a surface oddly unfamiliar
but queerly warm, white and comforting.
Here they are. One ganglioned brain of diffuse topography,
the other an intense neuronal compaction
Of frightening and wonderful possibilities.
A meeting of molecules. A dim but infinite recognition: a deoxy encounter, variations of the same native lattice, the crystalline source,
these two microscopic threads briefly touch,
a tactile prayer in sacred memory of the Generator of Diversity.

birdtalk be brilliance

chirrup and let there be brilliance
for your morning bright.
sunlightshadowtightkeensight
brilliant chirrup morn for your night.
wings note

rain drips from slick leaves
porch floods
rubber boots
roots

dilly dálliance

those delicate,
transitory
soft
warm whispering evenings in sunset last night on the river,
birds finally cease their restless arguing,
fish snap water beetles with
gummy jaws,
deer flies at rest,
mosquitoes still

flavoured abs

head in your lap probably restless
to taste a fruit
and take home a hair

too humming loud

why's the desiel idling on my door
humming too loud

tattooed trucker pickin' up his ally date
drawin' a crowd.

take in the garbage - start another empty
that's all your allowed.

reconing nimblejill

imagined picnic table adventures waft dog pee
no threat i see

art by garden urban heaven sitting
gently temperant, only fitting

fresh we photied, voyaged - petites
for quiet nights, or diesel heat

hi honey

stick to it
fingers tongues tied

lick thru it
gourmet palate wide

swim in it
put the heat aside

lay on it
let your worries glide

salonging

dawn too hot to want
faded sarong screen burns still
nite fresh breeze long gone
nostalgia for the snow

shut the door awhile

this road
burns my feet
though i leap to shadows
i cannot stay in them

more than one day

i want to say goodnite
to help you close another day
and put some of the stresses behind
with a gentle touch.

but it is your dawn another day
to open and face not always free.

hours later also mine.
some things are certain.

most things take more than one day.

for the day’s art

To find the universal in the particular,
history in a moment
the future in now.
It is
discovering the infinite forms of beauty
through a lens of passion,
or a gift of divine enlightenment.
the unexpected key from heaven.

present fame

good luck with landmines,
especially those you can't see.
but don't let your anxiety
force you up a tree.

1000hhh1

if you hadn't tried
to invent some others
?where would we be now.

choosing this month's boy
or girl, or thinking how.

heavy as the silo graze.
precipitate some DNA's.
play full biochemical haze.....

the current batch looks all alike
the highest price just took a hike
?shall we say ?where would we be now.

spotting

how big the world seems
or appears sometimes flat
its not just a question
of ?why wear your @

in fact you can't pose one
you can't cloth one
you aren't own one

it could be an answer
small local close by
try sly two lips
for a taste, for an I

the honey pot

one paw in and falling
headlong in the irrestible treasure grove of art and fantasy
that is you.
sheer honey
to this forlorn bear.
i'm grabbed.

noon to tune by the moon

with not a damn with on it?
sounds like a tune.
but, could be,
soon.

the with or the tune? dunno,
tho' know I'm swoon.

unpinned but not homeless

Un-pinned, un-buttoned, un-alone
tho' not quite sewn up, done up or together
Time to find a needle and a thread.

cows and wives

If I DID have a wife,
I would want her to be kind, helpful, understanding,
witty and
to do all the paperwork and marketing.

morning

Sun is no longer willing to lurk
in Cloud's shadows
or hide in heris robes.
Burnt hems, skirtless or kiltless, as you like,
Cloud has skipped off.

while thawing some berries


resident starlings were already applying themselves
to ambitious nest projects under the eavestroughs
(one of them has GOT to be the now grown baby bird we adopted last summer).
bumblebees were in their formations and descending
for a major haul of nector from our blooming pink crabapple.
The crows gab talk, the squirrels argue, the sparrows debate

clams or mussels

What hands, nose, ears, mouth you have?
Yes,
body language,
the better to know you with.
Better be soon!
Let us hope there are no wolves in the woods

still floating

a nice long chat
but that was that
now it is now
want you in person anyhow

court taster

Costumes?
I'll take: jester, troubadour, enchantress, travelling jewish merchant, seer and the girl skipping rope.
If you'll let me, I'll take lover, friend and fencer.

It is all very hard.

Teetering around on slimey or crusty rock in a riverbed gone dry,
the slippery mud banks just out of reach.
No sign of water -- it was diverted elsewhere long ago,
so only a soft trickle here or there since,
now whispering, now gone.
Only way out is up the bank.

Recipe for a song

how small to let me carry it
recipe cards might do.
people would wonder ?what's cooking
and ?whose invited which few

how big to let me sing it
more likely us more likely wing it
while people wonder
?would they

Held hostage by six sick sheep

What other things you like,
Other than the bike?
Do they fit with the mike or
Do you take them on a hike?
Can you bite them, smell them, lick them, taste them
or
strum them, beat them,blow them, pound them?

Do they all fit together
No matter what the weather?
Like the branches of a tree
do they all add up to thee?

Copyright Notice © 1998 Meg Barker and Peter Gillies

Sly Tulips -
Collaborative Spring '98

Inspiration: Wakefield Quebec poet Meg Barker pitches with vancouver cowpunk Paola V during an elvis evening of tributes to Hank Snow

SLY Tulips Commit to a Maudlin Dawn

Sly tulips comit to a maudlin dawn
Frosted, feeble heads
droop in sorrow,
thin red lips clamped
in a green elipse.

Crisp. begins the day. Tulips, lift up your hearts!

Sly tulips consent to a midday Noon.
Stretched, round, red greedy mouths
swallow the sun.
Eight red carpets unroll:
for the King.
Can't wait for royal yellow blaze of expiry.

It's Over.
A short life.
a well-lived pity.

Sly tulips concede to a distant dusk.
What is this?
Eight red evensong troubadours.
Praise be risen.

..........The (broken cellulose,vegetal cell wall, vivid chromotophoes)
Makes (clatter,rip, grind)
From (broken cellulose,vegetal cell wall, vivid chromotophoes)
Disturbs my peace of mind.

!!!!!!!! Curs-ed am I:
to love the bounty of the garden

..........The (broken cellulose,vegetal cell wall, vivid chromotophoes)
Makes (clatter,rip, grind)
From (broken cellulose,vegetal cell wall, vivid chromotophoes)
Disturbs my peace of mind.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Curs-ed am I:
to know their souls

..........The (broken cellulose,vegetal cell wall, vivid chromotophoes)
Makes (clatter,rip, grind)
From (broken cellulose,vegetal cell wall, vivid chromotophoes)
Disturbs my peace of mind.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Curs-ed am I:
When will the broccoli cease its bainful stare,
so I can get on with my dinner?

Where's the food?

Copyright Notice © 1998 Margaret Barker and Elvis was/were a truck driver

SuSpect Tides Lines
long beach vancouver island march '98

Inspiration: Veda Hille's "Portrait of Emily Carr", Industry Canada's Web site - Strategis, and the Vancouver Aquarium anemone catchers prowling Long Beach March '98


boardwalk abalone

stray crab leg not homeless or impounded maybe earmarked for jewellery
kitchen table naked and ?who could cloth.

soulbare is hard especially for the sentient we need secrets.

stretchleg to span the shore firm forced frozen by handywork of traffic artisans
they please our sole.

have we taken time to measure our pleasure. plus our privilege. life times
(oMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM)niscience earned on abalone boardwalk


you poet

not subject to woodpecker inspection or tide clock the poem seeks its boundaries
wilfully making inequations from retreats confronting swell with closed eye colour the
better to be attributing true beauty. form, heartbeat.

not subject but suspecting tide lines hold passing glances gathering code formulated
only once without thought to who might unzip it from silence.

but suspicion takes double axel toll for the front eyed genesis focussed ahead
where the informed go step by each leap from passion or even instinctive electronic
charge by all accounts universal but not double entered.

woodpecker inpsection lineless no saluting "sir" up tissue.

the poet is subject. the woodpecker does pass judgement. tideless.


dangerous scientist

her heart heaved motherly watching the gauge of her latest invention - no irony
its breakthrough ability to determine when a cow is in heat. thirty nine years old and
almost had to settle for surrogate mom until little eusteria's recent appearance..

lab life lustre may sparkle some eyes but when you are white coat all daynitelifelong
the hormones hum mum.

stretchleg namechange dulls the pain - but not the forgetlessness.

the herd is waiting.


sacred cow

get your protein from a bean cause i won't be seen in the butcher shop.

cholesteral is all you lose when moving up to a tofu pup.

turds will abound in urban mounds but you'll walk around.

sacred cow confess - doublekarmapoints you're blessed.

Copyright Notice © 1998 peter gillies