Yet to Fly - Fall '00

Inspiration: Still going and coming across canada and not being home in either place … help … on the way …

Yet to fly (00/11/05)
From a quiet sunshine coast dock – wanting to sooth the grief of a friend whose partner has just died.

Hardest days of life
When someone leaves
And we’re behind
To carry on.

Flowers and
"you’re looking great"
are comforting
to weep upon.

Reluctant heart
In a quiet room
An empty hand
To say "he’s gone".

A ray of sun
breeze fresh the air
His chimes of wind
To spring our song

And fuel the wings
Yet to fly –

His acts of love
To us belong.

Another year of patient hands (00/11/16)

He was given one year more
Rising from the apparent dead
Choking back the sudden fear
Certain of the road ahead

They both could travel in harmony
Growing thru their different ways
Grinding Grouse, or London Bridging
Certain that commitment pays

Now he’s gone again for good
Leaving many tales untold
Wondering where the purpose lies
Certain there’s no pot of gold

Patient with a hand to hold

Fill me – there’s not many (00/11/01)

There’s many things
I’m afraid to say
There’s many times
It’s not the day
There’s many roads
To find the way
There’s many tracks
I’ll make life play.

There’s not enough
Of a script for me
There’s not a lot
Of words for free
There’s not sufficient
Electricity
There’s not yet even
Authenticity

So fill me full
of heart and soul
Fill me from
A spring of slow
Fill me fast
To flood the road
Fill me up
Its time to go

Reluctant crust (00/11/01)
Back in Vancouver for a few weeks – feeling lonely – landmarks are not so obvious

No Ralph on the wall at Turks
Nor gracing tables –
And the comfy chairs
Are displaced
By reluctant posture.

And a little choked cruise
Down the drive -
Unencumbered -
Unnoticed.

So a wee grapefruit
to blast the gravity
to wonder.

to liberate time
for the me
I trust.

Or at least
To soften the crust.

Lucky Three

Sometimes the survival of a few

Sometimes paranoia with you

Sometimes a big step from two

Don’t push your luck

Remember to balance
the desire for spontaneity
with that of customer service.

Take frequent risks
But not the same ones
Too often.

Make an agenda
That you keep
coming back to.

Make lists
And stroke
To completion.

Mist goodbye’s (00/11/17)
Leaving again – rationalizing the inevitably sadness – wanting the pain to go away

The leaving's coming up –
Hardly any air to
Carry a voice on
The wings of my fears

I’m not gone yet –
yet choked to
Tears splashing on
The pages of my days

The list is long –
From sad goodbyes to
missed hellos on
the history of my homes

I’ll be there soon -
Lover’s arms too
Comforting on
The cry of my dreams

Elect me (nov 24)

voting is good.
choosing is hard.
cause nobodies willing
to stand on guard.

No ice today (nov 26)

But we do have …
one trapped mouse
two happy children
various sparkling shores
infinite big sky

Daddying (nov 27)

spaghetti's cooking
the kids are looking
at TV

essential you (30/11/00)
for larry

i feel your frustration
the space of no motivation -
so find a few small accomplishables

today i did wood chopping
and pool pump supervisoring
and clothes closet repair -
cold hands but sparked brain.

do a trout lake -
glide with the ducks
rap to a bullrush
envy the dog walkers

remember the essential you

spiritual laundry (00/12/01)

its not about suds
or bleaching off.
forget the choices
such as "soft".

but it could be sundried
or at least hung out.
for trusted folk
to talk about.

the slidedeck (00/12/01)

attached -
but always in flux.

the deck slides
to open eyes
and minds.

The process was focussed on crazy (00/12/07)

I’m vulnerable when I get frustrated -
A small computer mistake
taking me tens of second’s.
Can cost much more
If I take "just a peek"
At some porn.

Or when the wet wood whines
and I can’t find
the woodsman’s number
to complain.

But I stay focussed
on sane.

Though in the process
I often forget
where I was
and it almost
drives me
CRAZY.

good work (00/12/08)
For catherine who mobilized the entire ubc faculty of educator to donate their used hardware to tradeworks training society in Vancouver

somebody in the downtown east side
will surely label it
"another UBC plot
to infiltrate the community" -
but you did good work.

Letter to the president (00/12/08)
On the occasion of my cousin’s entrepreneurial son making it big with a dot com

so you made it to the top heh –
?whattya think of george bush –
i hear he is not too sweet
on canadians ...

anyway your lyricfind.com
will probably make you
lots of dough
but …

the search doesn't seem to support quotes, and
"artist search" only worked the first time, and
you tried to sell me an album
even though you didn't currently
"have the rights" to publish the lyrics
to hot rod lincoln.

moma hated diesels -
so bad.

These things that take more than one day. (00/12/22)

Don ‘t get angry – ask.
Don’t intuit - ask, ask,
Ask around.
Don’t be afraid
Of what you’ll find out

If you can’t get thru
Or see a light
in their eyes
don’t look away –
just wait

… stand at least
a deep breath …

now ?what’s it worth
and gonna cost
to make a difference
or just
to calm
your mind.

I burn with impatience
These things
That take
So long.

I’m counting (00/12/22)

The kitchen ticks off
Seconds of my discomfort
With the TV laziness
Of Margaret’s
son.

Should I boil the stew
Any longer
Fill the seconds with
Some icy scotch
Knaw on a paw
Olie style

Or be counted out
By the referee
For the WWF

Everywhere I look there’s a memory (00/12/22)

Everywhere I look
there’s a memory

of chopping chat
or frying fat
to grease the plate
with gossip straight
or some confession
its my obsession
to melt the ice
with steaming rice

No more debating new year’s dinner (00/12/26)

Its getting harder to remember
And easier
to forget.

Technology is here to help
But can’t reverse
a new year’s fete.

Of rice crackers, melba toast, ritz in a crab dip –
1 can crab meat, 250g of cream cheese, extra horseradish, onion, worschestershire.

One dozen Devilled eggs.

Hand rolled cold meat including
roast beef, smoked turkey, salami, black forest ham -
as much as
a pound of each.

Piquant pickles, olives, beets

Maybe a cheese ball after
some discussion
of how much work
it is or isn’t

Vegies dipped
in sour cream
and onion soup mix(ed)

French sticks
times 2

… pause …

Chocolate muse, Cookies, Coffee

And all the while wines
and softer drinks
for 15 friends …

don’t take the threat to
"make this the last one"
too hard.

Given Regularly (00/12/28)
Another visit to aunt elsie – she’s hanging in at the nursing home – and only mildly irritated at the lengthy goodbyes which she has to "do every nite"

"we do this
every nite"
helps to remind me –
I am obliged.

To ask
"?how can I help"
with all my
facilities.

To add a little value
To sooth a little pain
To pass a little time
Though I might disdain

Or dismiss the chance
To breath aloud,
And join the crowd

Small Steps (00/12/28)

Take a rest
Take some time
Take the steps ...

Get some space
for the race
you must face

build some heart
for your part
at the start

choose a friend
that you’ll tend
at the end

earn your say
every day
on the way.

Copyright Notice © Peter Gillies 2001