WORK from April to June 2012 ... the "OCCUPY YOUR MEMORY" SHORT STORIES and POEMS
jumpstarted at the DEER PARK INSTITUTE - BIR HP INDIA April2012

"Poems from Restless Hearts" is poetry and fiction
written by Peter Gillies and associated creative folks since 1997 including ...


Extensive co-authoring by and RAW material from Margaret Barker
Memory occupation from Janet Thomas, poetic justice from Naya Kee and rhythmic therapy from Christine Zeindler
Inspirational contributions from Nancy Barker, Phil Barker, Isabella Mori, Jody Nassr, Gisèle Gilfillan, Wahl and ?

Soon to be Dust
July 2006

Much family movement – earlier than expected – thanks for the time though


Your story (040706)

The day had come
Unequivocally.
Its time to move
To a new home.

The house is not safe -
Unbending …
In its memory of
Your once eternal footprint.

Soon to be dust
Swept across the earth
That histories tread

Your story read
By sunsets going down
Across the hills
Horizoned on the edge
Of summer in the mind.

I’m now afraid to find
What is no longer there
Like Buddhas
Blown from the face
of limestone cliffs.

Gone but not forgotten.


Real Blood (05Jul06)

Real casualties today
In downtown Kabul

Not like those
Extemporaneous manifestations
Of pain on the
World Cup pitch

Real blood
Families hurt
And fear seeping in
That doors are closing

While far away you talk of
“going to prison”
with almost none of that emotion
I have grown to fear
But want to hear
That sign of life
Of resistance
Of will

Still …
Its your life to live
And I can only
speculate the final chapters
that are coming
to an end

These local sparks
That patriotic hearts inspire
Will burn beyond
The funeral pyre.


Had dreams (07Jul06)

She had dreams –
For her seven children –
maybe even for her self.
A career perhaps,
or more modestly
A stimulated curiosity
about the world.

Destroyed by the
trash can bomb
in the Herat University classroom.

You had dreams –
and here we are -
your children
and family and friends
warm Ottawa river sunsets
to enshrine us all.

Though we humans fall

Though we fear the end
It’s coming –
With the call

To carry on
To dream along
Beside the fear.

That’s really “here”.


Blurst (08Jul06)

I left to write another poem
To circulate some inspiration
Oxygenate some goings on.

You left to find another home
More pliant to your needs
And let us breathe more freely

Will we then
each
Be still?

Or remain blessed/cursed
With an itch
And a heartbeat

Accept the history
We have walked
There are retread treasures

In the wings

Though nothing sings
Nor shines forever
We’re still compelled
To voice a face

Our choice of place
Or humble rhyme
Will leave
its mark when
given time.

Some day (11jul06)

Some day soon
they are going to come
And get us
Years or months
Or maybe just days
Away.
Play as we will
At educational reform
And sustainable society
There are too many
External forces
Gathering strength

Some day soon
It is going to come
And get us
You and me
But you first as
The years tick
And the senses betray
Away
With reason
We can only hope
To make enough sense
Not to embarrass ourselves
Too badly.

Sadly destiny prevails
Sometimes read
Sometimes surprised
But really only the naïve
Are caught pants down
How naked nations stand
Manned – peopled –
By simple desires
For bread and beds
And better things
For future generations that
Might prevail

Or fail
or fall trying


Deceptively Warm (14jul06)

The morning’s sun warmth
is appreciated today
But don’t be deceived
Winter is not imminent
Stay prepared for the heat

The garden is verdant
With atmosphere
But is it clear
How ungreen is the political promise
Keep your uniform neat

Buena Vista Social Club tames the air
Why don’t we dance
But watch your step
As more Pash tunes
Dictate the beat

The pool imagines flesh
A chance of sin
But don’t get swept
Your can’t run off
Without your feet.


The voice (18jul06)

Like a child
You hear the voice
Of a new friend
And eagerly track it down

Or lose your laundry
“some old jeans”
to a phantom in the hall

you want a bedspread
that matches the wallpaper
but doesn’t show the dirt

to be

like a child
you read the security warnings
of travel risk in every province
outside Kabul
and yet feel safe
within this city

or see the recent dearth
of Sunday shoppers
and ignore the
resurgent dogmatic oppression
which harkens the Taliban return

you circulate among
the Kashnillovs and the HumVees
blind to the armed population
they are protecting

to be

like a child
to hear the voice.


Almost familiar (20jul06)

We have a kitchen now –
You can come on in
To mine.

Find it almost
familiar.

In a reaffirming –
kinda
– way.

Play –
That we have a kitchen now
- at cuisinary things
on Fridays
it’s the cooks
day
off.

“!Cau…ffee” starts
the universal flow
of reason to the mind

The signs
are favourable
for the moment.

Check one last time –
“are you sure you don't
recognize
yourself?”

Don’t forget
to kiss
a man
today.

find it almost
familiar -
kinda
- reassuring

Exclude the MK47s
From the pictures
That you paint.
Fantasize
The feelings
that you
take

for granted sake
of hope
that springs
eternably around.
Leave the ground
you walked on
and start
to fly.

Skies
over Pakistan
warn storms.
Bamyian magic
perseverance
gives hope ...
a warm
and fuzzy
blind.

Find it
Almost
Familiar


While thinking (29jul06)
During a pensive week ...

two former World Vision colleagues
are murdered leaving their health clinic
outside Chagcharan City in Ghor…

the west is increasingly vulnerable.

the head of the security company
we are about to contract
dies in a helicopter crash in Khost …

"bad weather" may be
the politically correct diagnosis.

less than a month until home leave ...

the much needed reconnection
to friends and family …

the feared last days
in my mom's wonderful ottawa river sunset condo

I’m doing
A pensive week.

copyright 2006 Peter Gillies

Even After
Spring 2006

Thanks Margaret for thoughtfully sharing some of the joy and sorrow – your letters found a rhythm I had to celebrate.


All poems by Meg Barker exrept where indicated



When love did rhyme 01Jan06 (Peter Gillies)

You challenged me
To figure “our” love out
And I struggled
With the hurt
Behind the words
Until I remembered
Some other lines
You spoke in times
Of honest confusion
And thoughtfully shared
Joy
And sorrow

That was your heart then
And though I cannot
Touch it as I desire
I can read it to inquire
How love shows wings
And thus you sought to fly

That’s what I’ll try –
Not to understand
Or inspire flight
But just to light a time
When love did rhyme


That type of month 06Mar05

all kinds of adventures, images and interractions
go far beyond
the ordinary.

mastery of the
ins and outs of the organization -
answers “what needs to be done?”

Earning trust and respect
takes a while –
longer.

My mother's illness has returned.
The chemotherapy that seemed to
eradicate the cancer
clearly hadn't gotten to
every last niche.

Her antibodies –
misprogrammed by the lymphoma –
are destroying her red blood cells.

She is surviving on transfusions.
I am not sure she'll endure this week –
everyone is now there except me.

Mom is quite open-minded,
and optimistic most of the time.
Her spirituality,
already profound,
is growing.

She sees herself in transition.

My father died in the month of March, 1982 –
at approximately this time;

It seems to be that type of month.


To whom or what 20Mar05

Thank-you for your thoughts.
Or are they prayers?
If so,
to whom or what
do you pray?

Mom weathered the latest crisis
but death is a certainty
in the next days, weeks or months.

Medical experts have told me
that statistics are overall handy
but no guide for the individual

Mom is now comfortable
in a palliative pumpkin-coloured room,
amid a parade of guests,
frequent celebrations of communion with local priests,
and a steady stream of ice-cream and candy

There is nothing quite like the love of the kingdom
To keep an old monarch alive and well.

Einstein is supposed to have said
"reality is an illusion,
but a persistent one".

I've read that some physicists
believe there is a parallel universe.

Apparently the Japanese have simulated
the Earth's expected grand climactic changes
in one huge, souped-up super-computer.

So... there is already
at least
one mirror image.

Tell me more.


A universe or many 18Apr005

The first spring
I was here
didn't feel
like a spring,

so this my second,
still tentative,
like the roots of green and white
found under the leaf mat.

There are few flowers
- yet -
I spent most of yesterday afternoon
outside in a hot sun,
raking leaves
and stacking wood.

Overseas development is a most mystifying mission in the land of privilege where it is evident what the vast majority of people think they want - money, health and if possible immortality.

However, the soul falls just short of the mortgage, so the last ebbs out of sight.

There hasn't been much rain.
Insects are also scarce.

Mom went for a drive -
If there's a parallel universe,
or many,
she's aiming for it,

but I hope the minders get there first.


Right there at the touch 24Apr05

do you recall seeing
the Jacques Parizeau look-alike
while waiting for a train at Collioure?

we weren't just dreaming.

about a month ago,
On Radio-Canada
He described the happy tending
of mandarine bushes
in the Cote Vermeille,
and lounging about
in the Pyrenees sun.

retreat when urban life craves.

Politics is behind him;
life begins.

Sometimes you don't know the real thing,
even as it is right there
at the touch.


Worth the rewards 08may05

JP has re-surfaced – along with the threat of separation. Sponsorship scandal fired rap churns the anti-Liberal airwaves.

EK is development inspired and Sweden bound on a path of liberal arts and humanities. Governance is the most primitive of all such disciplines and her effort in that direction would be well worth the rewards.

LK is increasingly human and well peered. He needs the rough handling of newly discovered rugby. His freedom scooter has its risks but will save me gas and time.

MY automobile fails and I distress at mom’s condition. Distraction presents poles and other parking lot cars. But informed by Woody Allen watching I am maturing as a mental trapeze walker.


Will obey 13May05

I must rush off soon
But,
well,
I have a question.

Are there alternatives to
dangerous places?

For an age of excess in caution
Unshared by brazen beliefs of the committed.

Hamlet's "I will obey" has been found
very useful.

Under similar circumstances
you could be the first
to tell yourself that.


Settle down for some Alice Munro 01Jul05

Thank goodness the bride price
for wives in Canada
is not measured
in heads of cattle

Though I'm sure
in many families
rupees and other payments
are still expected.

Some Dads even kill their daughters
if the girls give away the goods
in love.

Opted out of the bargain,
Old dad can't forgive.

There was such a murder last year in Coquitlam.

Among those of us
who have the freedom to decide
that we don't want to be someone's property,
there is still no guideline
on how to do things
differently.

Do you seek …
data?

Sounds like another potential development project
- statistical capacity-building –
that is if there exists a bureaucracy in Afghanistan.

It is really quite remarkable how many
accountants, tax collectors and lawyers
existed in the middle ages

- the 50 years before the turn of the 14thC -
preceding the printing press.

Yet kingdoms knew precisely how many pigs they had,
and who hadn't paid their tithe in wheat.

Though social and technological complexity
was all in evidence,
advances were not obvious
within the character of men.

gorillas who were eager to lead
and boss the others

Up to now,
it's been crazy.

So I can settle down
for some Alice Munro.


Test that 02Jul05

I can only read
so much fiction
before my thoughts turn
to whether I am
using my time
correctly.

So I've just put down an April Guardian –
reminded that the neocons are on the loose,
and that wealthy landowners like the English monarchy
receive billions of pounds
in UK and EU export subsidies
so they can dump sugar
on Africa.

That sly dog
John Kenneth Galbraith
was born in Ontario and went to the
worst agricultural college in North America –
he narrowly escaped being a hog farmer
with a scholarship to Berkley.

Although unusually critical of American economic policies,
he was tolerated by the inner circles for his wit.

Think of it - he, Alice and Robertson Davies
all survived Ontario rural life,
and have surpassed themselves.

Maybe it's the Canadian air.

The Guardian normally
does not speak of Canada
except in the case of seal hunts,
although there was an recent article
about "BC Bud" smuggling.

A good pre-marital test
might be to gauge how closely
each party truly cares and
understands the others' feelings.

The relationships I know that work
are mainly about feelings.

How would you test that?


Though the issue is causing grief 07Jul05

An NDP MP from Timmins
and his family
have decided
not to
continue attending
their Catholic church

with the passage of
The Bill.

The MP had supported It,
after some thought,
but now the family
no longer feels welcome
at their church.

It is not always possible
to reconcile various systems of norms
- only to reflect on one's convictions
and make decisions based on principles
rather than merely "going along with the crowd".

some of those "principles" we have
always held dear in the West
are actually outcomes -
right-to-life-in-the-womb; -
right of state to conscript young people
to die in wars

Canada has not gone along with the crowd
on the gay marriage bill,
but whether real principles are at work -
applied to the realpolitik of international affairs –
is a guess.

The within me skeptic sees this
as Liberal political strategy and not principle.

Still, as a Canadian,
such a source of "national pride"
must come in handy.

It may ultimately improve
the overall standards for
marriage and frankly

I'm all for it on
THAT basis.

The issue, though,
is causing me grief
and I must go.

Isn’t it?


Tell me what it's like 18Jul05

Why do you call for love
between us in the future
when you evidently did not find it
between us in the past?

Does that +93 phone number really work?
Or do you tack it on to your signature
just to see what might happen?

Sometimes I think a seed may be found at home
but then again, sometimes not.

n However, it is hot,
n humid, clean and
n abundant in green in
n reasonably clean air.
n There’s no fish there.

See the intelligent fruits of revolution.
Ask for a voice of bitter reminder.
Refer to an earlier male.
Make peace with aid.


Delivered 08/07/2005

I miss E –
in an abstract way -
because she is ready to leave
our home.

I know she is in a nurturing environment –
nurturing back to her grandmother
who 15 years earlier nurtured her.

She is keen to take on the world
and has a well-developed social conscience
that will likely not be distorted
by whomever she meets.

I won't miss all the driving!

I also miss L –
more like fretting.
I guess at where he might be
overnight sometimes.

He is getting better.
Earlier this week a half-bottle of vodka
but all the laundry was done,
dishes put away and
grass cut.

I am pretty sure he delivered on his promise
not to drink and drive.

I have to say.
Destiny has pointed
in the direction of moderation.

Maybe some new poetry will
come out of the realignment.

Where I’m at?


Competition for Voltaire 18Aug05

I have a belief
you are a person
that picks up a lot.

Given where you are,
you need every last one.

I went for run
up the hill
to my place
as I often do –

we are in a cool spell now.
With all the velvety sumac,
Queen's Anne Lace and ragweed,
the road has a green bounty
that is comparable to the tropics.

I've placed a tree identification book
on the coffee table,
but it competes with the
Guardian and Voltaire's Bastards
so I've only learned a few names so far.

Will you have photos?


Never really left 22Aug05

so as to grope my way forward
I've dedicated the first 2 hours
of today's wakefulness
to a plan of action

That "people for policy" concept
that we worked on
has never really left me.

Since our focus on this years ago,
There has been experimentation on e-approaches,

in Europe primarily, and
within the right framework
people can work as effectively
on-line as off.

I've just been interrupted
by a telephone repair man -
Bell Canada in the flesh.

I spent an hour yesterday on the
alternate phone filing a complaint
to voice-recognition technology.

One teensey dot among many.

Do you remember your
98’ poem of circumspection -
poised uncertainly in front
of a prospect of a relationship with me?

I think you were experimenting on taking words
supplied and creating verse.

The Tide lines.

Making a relation between inequalities.
The suspicious woodpecker.
The unclothed crab leg - secrets baked into its white claw.

I can't help.

But can we?

Will the compromises?

There are lots.

I'm back after breakfast.


Brought up 15Sep05

Love is
not dimmed,
but edged
with a bit of reality,

the rocks of previous paths
and some dead ends.

Still, it feels good
to resume climbing upwards.

The HK issue does not hurt -
it angers - ANGERS.

I hate bullying

However, I appreciate
you bringing it
up.


Behaving as Such 26Sep05

Ah sweet youth of an Italian
maybe 35-40
tried to persuade me to tour
the city tonight
but in the end,
after several enchanting looks
while he served me dinner,
I declined.

Given what you’ve said you like,
I thought you might enjoy
that little vignette.

On the other hand,
it is not something
I want to encourage.

Berlin has so far been quite fun
Without the time
To do anything grand.

Yesterday’s bus tour driver was
a white, young, married man from South Africa,
with a lovely sense of humour,
a bit of conservative streak and
very well-informed.

He must pour over the newspapers
and Economist-like periodicals
all the time.

We saw remnants of the Wall -
constructed in the 1960s
when it became
evident that citizens were behaving as such
and heading to the West.

Then they became prisoners.

Fully developed it consisted of 2 walls,
4 feet apart,
with landmines and vicious dogs
in between.

More than 80% of Berlin
was destroyed by
Allied bombing
In WWII.

The older buildings left standing
are marked with bullet holes.
Observe these austere, cold buildings
beside much older ornate ones,
then the flat, dull 60s-era ones,
miles of apartment buildings and now,
the muted flamboyance.

We passed the new commemorative graveyard
that honors the memory
of 6 million Jews -
a huge field of rectangular black stones
of different heights.

The tour guide pointed out
that the other 5 million people murdered -
primarily gypsies, gays, lesbians and disabled people
did not get similar recognition.
He did not think this right.

He has a point.

Berlin was a centre for bohemia and other freedoms
before the rise of Nazism. ]
Reflect on the strivings for power, control and repression
to the extent that everyone must look and behave the same;
and the equally strong impulse
to throw systemic structures entirely off;

and then all that is not expressed,
in between

Today was a huge marathon.
The inner city was blocked off
and the taxi driver who transferred me
from one hotel to the next
stopped far short of today’s residence.

I walked my luggage
to the marathon route
and stopped beside an amateur drums and percussion group,
all women,
mostly middle-aged
but a couple who were elderly.

They seemed to have long bongo drums,
conventional drums used for parades-some small,
medium and huge-a type of rectangular, double-tiered tambourine

and an interesting percussion instrument
that looked like it was from Africa.

They worked hard and encouraged the runners,
many of whom were very grateful.

I dont how they could keep banging for so long.

Tell me about it.


Letting you know 03Oct05


I got that email
and now this one.
There are some positive sides.

I do wonder if you should keep a weapon under your pillow
in case the laid-off staff take it to their heads
to let you know how they feel -

Personally.

There seems to be little
in the way of "professionalism" -
that concept based on the market economy and contracts.

Is it fair to say
Afghanistan remains largely a feudal society
characterized by a need/motivation
for acts of "honor".

One treads carefully
trying to impose
notions of the market.

Employees expect you to take
care of them
The idea of obligation to work
might not be as well developed.

Hang in –
this is a good time to reflect.
"Come, and take choice of all my library
And so beguile thy sorrow"


Guess the reasons 06Oct05

My words are for this moment.

Past suffering your withdrawn love admits my ambivalence.

I get mixed up in the lurching of your feelings –
trying to ride the boat of up and down

Managing is something to aim for –
in the proving ground of a difficult challenge

From the vantage of your needed security secured
we might figure out what’s what

I care about you a lot,
so you could at least do the same.

?Guess the reasons? why you won’t come home and stay.


Likely to be storms 07Oct05

Give it your magical attention.

Preferably not in a high-risk location.

Canadian winters may not be as fearsome
as they once were –
although there are likely to be storms and floods,
dryness in some spots
and unusual humidity in others.

US Republicans appointed to Congressional committees
and "scientific" advisory boards
still ponder whether climate change exists.

We have about 10 years to react.

27 degrees here yesterday.
Beautiful but odd.


have mine 08Oct05

Whatever luck I have,
and prayers will be mine
hold you I dear.

With who?


Some certainties 08Oct05

Now that the temperature has fallen –
precipitously in one day –
it's time to stay inside,
and curl close to the fire.
With a hot rum toddy.

I can say that some people in Canada
are creating different possibilities
for adapting to future.

The abundance of knowledge and technology is astounding,
and yet the changes to the earth
and inhabitants are also accelerating.

I am not sure of our abilities,
among the currently peaceable societies,
to identify, perceive and wrestle
with all these changes in an intelligible way.

At the same time we do have
a lot of tinkering around in
nuclear adventures
by much less informed societies.

Richard Dawkins and his disciples in the UK
discard notions of "intelligent design".

we say we've emerged from a primeval soup
and now it appears we're right back into one –
even more bubbly and potentially irradiated than the first.

Oh, never mind.

There are some certainties.
It's nice to curl up together in a warm bed.
A cup of coffee and a good book on a Saturday morning feels good.
Walking in the woods. to appreciate
with just
our senses.

So - is that magical?
Maybe more so when the world
you should be thinking about
is just beyond the reach
of the thinkable human.

So we hold
On
Hands.


they don’t need questions 10Oct05

I have no news and
know nothing about
the earthquake in Pakistan.

I think you are
much quicker, stronger,
and perceptive than you know.

So,
if you must go

you are probably at an advantage
and may be a resource
to others who need your help.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't be careful.
I'll pray as souls like me do -
belief in some things
but they don't seem to be explicable
in the church, cults or ashrams.

I have faith in you, anyway.

Without reading all of his books,
but being familiar with his arrogance,
I think the idea of "intelligent design"
which Richard Dawkins refutes
is more the province
of sophisticated thinkers
such as physicists who are
religious or spiritual

That said,
it can be applied
to muffling the creationists.

But they're not really part of the debate.

I equate the creationists
with those who don't allow
their intellectual capacities
to stretch beyond
the teachings of the bible.

if they have answers,

they don't need questions.

I'm glad you're talking to someone
I think you need to dig deep.

Actually, so do I,
and I like this time of reflection.

Not on you're being at risk
or the occasional if acute
pangs of missing.

I'll keep putting this aside
and think of stepping up the rocky path.

Difficult, but the perspective
of the summit is worth the climb.


While it lasts 14Oct05

Those trees seems distant, now.
I wish I was running
with you thru the sun.
But it is dark and rainy –
that blue period
before winter arrives.

I need to work
on my temperament
at these times.

Objectively I have nothing
to complain about.

Hot yoga helps
while it lasts


Probably unavoidable 15oct05

There was a statement
by the UNHCR head
who said he was worried
about the congestion of
NGOs in Pakistan and
their lack of coordination.

Everyone jostling
to be doing the right thing
(independently)
and to be seen to do so
(uniquely).

Unavoidable,
probably.

LK has disappeared on his scooter tonight
with no note,
and no sign at
his typical friends.

He's bigger than I am –
though not as sensible.


Ahead on the block 16oct05

Some people don't like to have their world view changed.

The Indigo Girls have a line in one of their songs about
Galileo's head being
on the block.

He was persecuted for proclaiming that
the earth went around
the suN

Based on his experiments.

The contemporary powers didn't appreciate tampering with
the myth that the earth
was the center
of the universe

Very much like the US Congress Energy and Overview committee
intimidating scientists who suggest
human factors contribute
to climate change.

Now what?

Isn't that the bigger question?


One lies 18Oct05

I don't know if I can provide answerS
But one does lie with the somewhere tying
Of feelings to sense –
humanity to its reason.

Various tribes have peopled the earth
With separation suitable to their purpose

Deliberate extermination – past decades
Of Rwanda, Sudan and Bosnia

Or the more frequent come and go of natural disasters
That the comfortable world can register and forget

Until it happens to them –
Then the sudden search for an ethic
From the ignored.

Or the optional “get smarter and
use your advantage for good”
exercisable by those of us from the
wealthy corner of the world.

The best thing living right
balances self and societal interest,
lighting the informed example of
reasonable compassion.

Here I am
happy to give
a hand and
you asked for
a hug and
there I am
in spirit.


Reason with compassion 19oct05

There’s the trade-off
between curiousity and aspiration -
To help the planet or
pursue dollars in one’s own right.

Live in the privileged circumstances
and risk becoming unspeakably
arrogant and self-centered.

Questioning this line –
whether I should be doing it.

Mid-November is coming
quickly.

Haiti is a lot closer
than Afghanistan


When Discovered 21oct05

I do.

I do remember poems -
steeped in a certain
fear and loathing
of scientists and mothering.

Odd.
You come from those origins.
Though maybe not
both sides precisely –
must be some ambiguity somewhere.

Moses has been skittish
for some 24h
with no interest in affection
but now he
(actually a she)
has decided to tackle me
at the point of occupation.

I will be covered with hickies
If I don't peel it away,

Lola is quite civilized,
loving in a steady and respectful way,
clean,
delicate,

everything one could hope for in a cat.
She sets an example.

Oliver has taken to barking at odd moments
when there is no stimulus.
He's gone senile.
I was up a good part of the night
letting him in and out, and
telling him to be quiet.

Then he sleeps all day.
And sneaks onto the couch
when we're not around,
feigning stupidity when discovered.


Hands to hold some words 22oct05

Here are some words.

The effort is in breathing
through the emotions
and knowing that you are
of the best help
if you are calm -
without losing sympathy.

Some people might be
more philosophical than others –
facing disaster
more than we actually know

Your engineer is
I assume
of a practical bent
and might be able
to help steer the sentiment
in a useful direction.

Hands to hold along the way.


your worlds 28Oct05

you have slept
by the hope
of this time

you inhabit
many worlds
away

you sure
must feel
like
I am

Click on
the oil droP


Gone looking 30Oct06

Mandolin?

I went looking in Sept -
thinking of
learning how
to play.

Though the concertina –
small and portable –
attracted me
at the Folkfest

EK is likely returning
to stay at Christmas.
Sweden has not proved the great adventure
that she was peddled.

I support her at this point of choices:
the people she wants to be with,
the things she wants to learn,
the home she wants to be in,
the society she wants to build.

I took time from a scheduled Saturday
to lope through the woods with Oliver
following in his start and stop fashion.

It was spectacular.

Many new leaves have fallen,
nipped off yellow and brown by the recent cold
without their usual permission
to meander through the weeks
and show off all their garments.


Warm even 31Oct05

The alternative energy panel
Drew a decent crowd
on an unspeakably beautiful afternoon.
- Canada remains at the top
of the industrialized world production
of greenhouse gases.

I was pleased -
now all I have to do this week
is work like a dog,
family, and
houseclean to prepare for next weekend's visitors.

A few sloshes in the evening and
I'm in good form for the rest.

I have no idea
what I want to do
with the mandolin but
it seems to me
that first I have to know how

and then I may be able
to speculate
on what.

Are the personal implications
That you might depart sooner
and safer?

Some leaves may still be around.
It could even be warm

What is this (-) wistful?


As trees 01Nov05

CL’s niece has at 17 or 18
quite matter-of-factly
come to the conclusion that her
“parents don't care” about her.

Whatever they can avoid doing
or thinking about
“never makes it onto the agenda.”

Her mother has
a serious drug problem.

Her father provides the roof
but is involved in another relationship.

Where he gets care
and the new partner
wants a new family.

With “a bit of room”
for the old one
of two teenage girls.

Who are left to flounder around
seeking who knows what
from their "peers".

If they don't know
what "normal" is,
how can they figure out
how to get there?

As trees that can't speak back,
we will only know they had something to say
in their silent disappearance.


Even after 03May06 (peter gillies)

It is time to write
my own poem

Now that I
have finished
one of
yours

Words have been
picked over
and rhymed

Timed –
to character
your eyes

Wise as blossoms
in a wind

Thinned –
But not broken

Suffered –
But not spoken

Brought to new life
at least for me
for you to see.

……………….

……………….

……………….

These are
real tears
to be seen

As they fall

Or are arrested
by the call
of propriety

Each society
gives its clues
and then we choose
how to emote

by rote
or wrath
You’re thinking
laugh

I’m thinking light
Thinking lightens laughter.

Even after.

Copy right Margaret Barker and Peter Gillies 2006